never be found.

sometimes i just know i have to let myself smile although it is hard.
there's a promise to be kept.
you have to be happy, i want you to be happy.
somehow people are just living under others' sight.
thinking whether should i change my blog link and never be found again.
just as how i used to be, never be found.

suka mengasingkan diri di tempat yang terpencil?
bukan sahaja yang mengambil dadah bersifat begitu,
orang yang sunyi, buat begitu juga.

因为不想周围的热闹，突显自己周围不可打破的，寂寞之墙。
这个世界的喧嚣，和寂寞，合不来，
却又一直共处。

2postin1day?2birdsin1stone?

photos taken at genting highland , first world hotel.

when will there be the light of hope arises and shines on me?
i never know.
sometimes no matter how hard you try, things just never will get on your way.
maybe i am just lack of that LUCK?
or is it just cause it is relations based?

strives for excellence, try to be the best out of the best.

"i have tried my best." "yes, but, still NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

something i learnt in a lame movie - "lesbian vampire killer"
yes u try ur best, but still, not good enough.
yes,not good enough.
to myself,cheers.

home sweet home and my random crapz.

am drinking milo and hell yeah using my brain,thinking.
lotsa things come and go off my head.
can't even have the peaceful mind. zzz.
finally home sweet home and now im typing here and wondering actually how much free time i have got.
or should i do some other things which are more beneficial or which is under my responsibility?

now am going to talk about 'new start'.
since it's december and soon, next year won't be 2009 anymore but instead,2010.
two more years to the freaking "so-called" the end of the world, 2012.
of course i hope it wont come so fast as i am jus 18 by then, jus know how to drive a car. -.-
( i haven watch the movie. how outdated am i -.- )

i cut my hair, not recently but quite sometimes.
i have kept my hair for one year and just phew, RM12 and it is like the me when i was in primary 2. XD
"so kasihannya u cut it!!"/ "u will regret!!"/ "another 'mushroom'??"
comments i heard but still got others la. zzz.

why i cut it? i also dunno why i just feel like it.
sometimes i jus know i have to let go of something and this maybe concluded too.
just step out the first step, and towards a new me.
it is not easy to start and it is even harder to go on.

how much changes i see from myself?
have i transformed into a better person? or just worse?
it takes determination to do something and have i got it yet?
or just like before the lazy ass i am?

my point is, when u actually decide to change, not only from the outside,but the inside.
like a kampung girl, she says she wan to be FASHION and STYLISH, yea maybe from outside she can do that,but the her inside, is still the kampung girl. get what i mean?
and actually i am just talking crap and releasing my randomness. zzz.

i love the movie 'JUMP'. i get its point which is if u like something, go for it. never ever give up.
cindy, never ever give up.
cindy, get your dream.
cindy, dare to be yourself.
cindy, it is time to let go of the past.

little notes to myself.
the ending of my crap.
sorry for wasting ur time.

what i've done :

i dunno where i actually get those bravery to do things liddat, but yeah i did it! at least i did. so feel proud of myself! i dun care whether i didn't any get applause or compliments. because,the most important is, i get over myself. *clap for myself!*

the most important in this post is, you must get over yourself.
get over ur obstacles in ur heart.
get over it.

and u will have a new start.

:]

we live in the world together, we see the world together, we chase our dreams together and we are together.

ARFG？

christmas bell. taken at genting highland - first world hotel.

做人很辛苦,说要做自己喜欢的事却又还是要看别人脸色，说要追求自己喜欢的人别人却又说了那么一大堆，为了自己着想就被说是自私，在背后说着别人闲话的时候自己又有多少完美？想唱歌必须考虑自己的歌声会不会伤人耳朵，爱美也要看自己有没那个资格，当然还有很多很多。

又有多少个人有勇气勇敢做自己？自爽得来的又是什么？
感觉很无奈，可是谁又有勇气逃跑？
戴着面具的生活是否真的那么愉快？
设定这么多是自己的secretive个性还是纯粹的不想让别人知道？

喜欢lily allen 的个性，因为他不在乎别人的眼光。
责任存在的意义，就是让人家把事情做好。

加油。

我喜欢matcha icecream.

纯属发泄，因为，真的受够了。
真的很想快点回去美里。
真的很想。

P.S 自己认为那是纯粹的和好朋友去玩，其他人却不一定那么认为。显到。 不过，还是bobian了。算了吧。
P.S 2 没有在讲谁，你要自作多情那就是你自己的问题。

To my dear fren，

昨天醒来时，嘀嗒嘀嗒的雨声，

缭绕不去的烦恼，是否会被洗净呢？

你可以很轻易，因为一些小事而憎恨别人，

那么憎恨自己呢？

不能逃避的，只能面对。

一个错误如果能够被纠正，那就不算一个错误。

希望我能这样面对所有的错误。

To:

我并没有权力过问其他人的私事，可是，在你伤害别人的当儿，你必须记住，有一天，你会得到相同的伤害，到时，你在大喊为什么的时候，记得你今天做的每一件事，都是在为你的未来作决定。那的确是你的私事,可能他不是你所谓幸福的归属，可能可能，一切一切的可能，都不会再有可能了。希望当你真正找到幸福的时候，你会珍惜，好好好好的抓紧。

乖~

Yours sincerely,

ms.xiindiie

P.S thanks for my medicine,my treat. you're the man! :P

morning - before going to school xD

oh well just going to update my manga reading @@

-bleach till 45(in comic)/355+ in anime

ulquiorra died!!
TT
he is one of my favourite character and he is damn cool!!
why had he died??

nvm i just have to live in reality...dun cry over that...

bye bye ulquiorra u r stil lmy favourite...
support you forever!! >w<


-One Piece (?)
definitely one OP FANS!!
now jus wondering how could luffy meet back with his nakama again...
and did ACE die???
argh climax part!!!

ACE IS GOLD.D.ROGER's SON!!!

Movies : G.I.Joe - The Rise Of Cobra

i like the high techonology...woot!!
but when my sister is studying i cant open the speaker loud...nvm la...
going to watch another soon...
so...
ciao~

P.S Going to school... hope something will happen to me again :D

the end of test.

考试结束了，可是，感觉并没有预期中的开心。
自己付出的，总是不够。无论是努力，还是关心。
不知觉地，习惯忽略。然后，又是突然的醒觉。

很多人已渐渐离去…

生活里少了谁？可曾给与关心？
最近，听到一个很久的朋友病了，变得很不健康…病得很严重吧我想…
我无法想象，曾经是生命中一部分的人，
就这样被时间侵蚀，直到只剩下回忆。

我现在开始害怕时间。
时间就像握在手里的沙，你只能，无助地看着它渐渐的从指缝中溜走。为什么时间，你要如此残酷？带走身边一个又一个的人。命运，为何我们不能战胜你？无法改变的terms.
我原来还不能接受失去。
还不能习惯，少了谁的感觉。

3a班的各位，在数学paper1前，都在折星星。
第一次学了，虽然有点cacat...
不过，都希望，我们的祝福，能够传达到他那里。
他是谁？
他是一个很努力很努力的人。
努力到让我很嫉妒的人。
你一定能早日恢复健康的，我相信，
我们都相信。
上帝将于你同在 :]
虽然我不是基督徒，可是对与是基督徒的他来说，
我愿意为他祷告。
希望大家都健康。
一定要好好活下去，一定要。

amen.

a definitely new dae ;D

new haircut ;D

自己，是很幸运的 :)
拥有的，享受的，以及，一同制造回忆的。
SM?
soul mate :)

a big smile.completed by recycled lucky draw ticket.
awarded my tie.
with a big PINK nose!
to remind me, of my life.
CHEERR!!

"朋友，可以比情人更亲密。"
"情人，分手了就不是朋友了，值得吗？"

我们可能不是同一个回忆制造工厂，
我们拥有不同的人生，
但是，我们分享。
友谊把不同的人牵在一起，
然后，怎样经营?
看你咯。

7天的假期，
或许我没有好好利用，
但我相信，我好像找到了更好的东西 :)

work hard to achieve more.
i may not be the moon in the night.
but i am willing to be the stars,
which shine around u.

hit me like a ray of sun,
burning through my darkest night,
you're the only one that i want,
think i'm addicted to your light,
i swore i'd never fall again,
but this don't even feel like falling,
~ currently listening: Beyonce Knowles - Halo.

100th.

if only the feelings, can be expressed through words.
beneath the heart.
within the truth.
if only?

Currently playing over and over :
Jesse Mccartney : Just So You Know.
Theory of a Deadman : Not Meant To Be.

the 100th.
uncountable days that i revolve my mind around.

farewell.

一遍又一遍的深呼吸，
我很笃定，我活着。
可，只是

庸庸碌碌地活着。

突然，
我停下了脚步。

看着四周，
以往忽略了的感官，
五感猛地涌上断了根铉的脑神经。

才发现，
身边的人，已一个一个，
渐渐地离去。

才发现，
思念是如此的
难·以·忘·怀。

才发现，
时间，是如此地残忍。
一点一点，
把原本属于我的，
一·一·剥·夺。

以为自己够坚强，
向着前方，
傲气地说:
"支身一人，又有什么大不了的?"

可是，我却无法对着你的离去，
说着如此勇敢的话。

可能，躲在被单里哭泣后，
再用灿烂的笑容，
对你，
和你留下的回忆，
道别。

farewell my friends.

Dangerous.

grabbed from cyanwater

what is wrong with me?
empty-minded.
depression hit me hard on face,
loneliness drop by,
inner war.

Yes,Dangerous.
Im dangerous right now.
keep a distance from me.

现在的时间：0010
现在的心情：放空
现在听着：Love In The Ice

Praying definitely
H.A.R.D
to be strong enough.

94th Post.

有时候会很突然地思念起一个人，
会很不小心地，掉进思绪的泥沼里。
你就像是希腊神话里完美的神祗。
我无法逃离，就这样陷入你的注视中。
有人告诉过我，
那是像泡沫般美丽的梦，破灭了，就将跌入万丈深渊。
可是，勇敢追梦，不是你教我的吗？

我不会阻止你的离去，
却不知不觉地陷入失落，
总是追寻着你的身影，
却也总是装作不在乎。

迷惘。
第94篇文章。
惯用的华文，
不习惯的自己。

signing off.
lost and wish to be found.

i hate myself for being such a complete L

jus keeping up with my daily routine.

reading
eating
sleeping
drawing
talking
texting

it jus seems too hard for me to find anything exciting for myself.
i want to cry.
but tears are stucked and blocked.

too bad for it.

feel like completely

Loser.
Loser.
Loser.
BIG F ing LOSER

away from blog.
signing off.

Wondering Jellyfish!

jellyfish are wondering!
anyone mind to adopt them?
anyone who have been to 3A 'o9 when teacher's day should know how they look like.
i cut their 'hair' in order for them to survive the tropical season at my home.

once again...
anyone mind to adopt them?

i would not like to just throw them into rubbish bin like what my mum asked for.
sigh.

Inter School English Drama Competition 2009

This tuesday,i didn't go to school.
i was not sick dude. =="
i went to Pustaka for the inter school english drama competition.
of course i was not taking part,but instead of it,i became a supporter.
support whO?
my school english drama team la who else zzz...
and of course my best friend Brenda dadadadadada~

this is the first year i went to watch the competition...
at first i thought it will be really exciting...
but i felt like a loner there,with sheryl...
hmmm....perhaps that is caused i wasn't that familiar with them
and my english...suckss ( like that- suckss -)

Team A from SMK Taman Tunku.
their performance is kinda nice, awarded third prize with the drama entitled "Beauty is the Beast".

"why without beauty then i am worth the misery and all these sadness? "


"go away from here!"


out of condition yet.


"let me tell you the truth...u r not pretty anymore my dear PRINCESS."


"i have got MAGIC! "
but it didn't work out this time xD

Now then it is Team B.
SMK CHUNG HUA MIRI!!!!
(shouting in heart !!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Pictures?????????????

(FILE MISSING)

too bad it is not for your enjoyment yet this time :)


and then saint columba's performance is really nice too...funny!
CURRY???
big clap :D
sorry didn't take photos of them too...
sigh.
camera problem =="

entertainment time... :D
Singers and Dancers from SMK CHUNG HUA MIRI!!! once again,shouting beyond the heart hmmm :X

great singers :D
band woohoo!


graceful dancers :D

jia yee shot you xD


elaine at the back hmmm...siew git where are you :X


nice pose~ :P


toot toot train x.x


wow~ ^^


one of the nice traditional dance i ever see!


~


dancing is a happy thing...kaka...


didn't shot much nice shots of the indian traditional dance...


sweet sixteen..


modern dance which gt a lot of different style.


without zoom...hmmm...

Prize Giving Time...
the most nervous and exciting momment.

This time it was kinda special...
the first prize gave out first...
and it goes to.......
SMK CHUNG HUA MIRI!!
congrajulations ! :D

Champion Trophy!!! Woohoo!!


a group photo of HAPPY PEOPLE! :D


again...the lesser people one :D


saint columba drama team


owh lols kael and thera xD


the girls are so high LOL!!


i guess bren felt like crying...she is nervous and happy at the next sec!! :D


this post is actually dedicated to my best friend brenda ching...
jiayou for state level!
they are leaving for betong!
Remember there are always supporters around !

:D

so?

this is the 1st time there is what so called HATER came across my blog.
someone even woke me up from my sweet sweet dream because of it.
u know what?
i yearned for a sleep for 10 hours but because of that hater,
damn it =="
thanks for someone's consideration anyway.

i didn't care much about what others think about me,
unless,i realize there is really a severe problem about me.
alright,if u think what so about me,just confess to me FACE TO FACE.
there is no need to backstab me behind,or using anonymous THIS KIND OF STUFFS.

like what the suckss say :
wad the **** uii!!tot u vry kurus ka?take wd sexy photo..make miie vomit a!! .|. damn uii!!sucks!!!!!

i thin or not not your probblem.
u have no need to care so much about my appearance.
if i wanna diet because i think i am way fatter,also nothing matters so much about YOU.

nowadays,there are too common with that kind of childish person around.
no reasons for you to HATE me.
n no reasons for me as well to HATE you back.

Review.

alright i have a LOTS to tell after taking a kinda long break from blogging...
tis will be a kinda boring post i guess...
the more interesting one i will just post it in the following posts...
huhu~

tis is a review about myself...
going along this holiday,
i realized lots more about me,my characteristics and so on...

i always want to be perfect.
but indeed,i dun do everything greatly...
i oweys make mistakes.
sigh.
i seem like dun care about those things,
but hey, i am so good at hiding,till...
people jus can't know what i actually thinking...
pressure didn't seem to come along always,for what others see me to be like...

when i face obstacles,
i tend to give up...
my soul isn't as strong as what i supposed it to be...
i felt myself so weak at tat moment...
helpless. hopeless.
yes, what gives me hope,is dream.
after tat incident,i dare to change.
tat is dream which give me the courage.
i wan myself to be what i want to be,
instead of what others want me to be.

i am not born to be a leader,but a follower,a supporter.
alright,this is a truth tat i realize earlier actually...
i will jus try to always be better,
achieve excellence...
im lucky already...
with all ppl surround me,
with lovely incidents happen around me...

btw,i felt myself is so weak at kemahiran hidup =="
i would like to mention tat i face problems,whenever teacher assigns us with work...
like the litar electronik,kerja kayu...
besides, tis is actually a truth tat i dun want to reveal...
i dunno how to cook!
i felt lucky... tat our school jus wants us to more concentrate on Perniagaan,instead of stuffs like ERT and so on...
if not,huhu...i can only cry over the river =="
this is a fact tat,nowadays,ppl are jus too reliable over money.
MONEY. $.$
when we dunno what to do,or how to do,
yes,money is the solution.
we pay,and others settle for us.
so convenient huh?
i have tat thinking too...
but i do have to admit,i am miss parsimony =="
i tried to do my kerja kayu,but at last,i got the help from my uncle...
felt ashame of myself...
sigh...
he came here not for helping me to do stuffs liddat,indeed,is for a holiday.

i am way too selfish.
sorry...

sometimes,i just cant help myself from falling.
u live within the rain.

nonoo.

one door close, another door opens.
one friendd gone,another comes.
boyfriend huh?
is the sequences like this too?

i jus hate this.
but i just cant help myself to stop involving in this.

yet ,i know,
i can make a difference.
i can choose to be contented,
or to be empty.

i can choose to love myself,
or hate it.

despair,you are not going to get me.

turn away

turn away the face.
even from myself.
am i such a coward to escape?
or is it because, run away is the best solution?

i hate the truth sometimes.

the problem of zzz

my pencil sketch in my notebook.

i know it look like piece of shyt.
but hey i am just a beginner ok?
zzz.
i just love the shirt on her.
i've got it but never got the chance to wear.
SIGH.

i have got some zzz problems.
that's why i go online...
breaking my promise...
ARGH!

I DEFINITELY CANT SLEEP RIGHT NOW!

maybe it is caused by the consume of caffeine.
GAH
by the way,
i take tea instead of coffee.
i HATE coffee.
x.x

study study study.
stress stress stress.

i scared tat if i continue to stay in the condition like this,
i will probably pop out more PIMPLEs.
and.
i guess i will have gastric soon.

:'(